Still Waters Mediation Newsletter – October 2025

Greetings from Still Waters

This season brings a powerful lineup of opportunities for connection, growth, and meaningful support within our caregiving and mediation communities. I’m honored to partner with organizations across Minnesota to provide resources for families, professionals, and caregivers navigating complex transitions. From dementia-care forums to statewide ADR training, these next several weeks are full of ways to learn, engage, and strengthen the networks that serve our aging population.

I also continue collaborating with fellow mediators to deepen our shared expertise and refine the approaches that help families handle conflict with clarity and compassion. It is a privilege to support this work, and I look forward to connecting with many of you in the weeks ahead.

Why I Value the Dispute Resolution Center (DRC)

Saint Paul’s Dispute Resolution Center—Minnesota’s oldest community mediation organization—has been a cornerstone of accessible conflict resolution since 1982. The DRC provides mediation, restorative justice programs, youth development circles, conflict-resolution training, and sliding-scale services that make support available to anyone who needs it.

I began volunteering with the DRC in 2024, and it quickly became one of the most meaningful parts of my professional work. As a Qualified Neutral under Rule 114, I have the opportunity to mediate Ramsey County court cases and community matters, and I’ve gained a strong network of colleagues and friends through this service. Volunteer commitments are flexible, and the experience contributes directly to restoring trust, resolving conflict, and strengthening community relationships.

I encourage anyone interested in mediation or community engagement to learn more about the DRC and the vital work they do throughout Minnesota.

The Hidden Costs of Avoidance: Why Families Need Mediated Conversations

Many families struggle to talk about the issues that matter most—caregiving needs, living arrangements, health-care decisions, and estate planning. These conversations are emotional, difficult, and easy to postpone. Yet avoidance often acts like a slow leak: quiet at first, but eventually capable of creating long-lasting strain.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that conflict avoidance increases stress and can damage relationships more than addressing concerns directly. Studies on end-of-life planning similarly reveal that delaying discussions leads to greater confusion, fractured family dynamics, and a higher likelihood of legal disputes later on.

Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but it frequently becomes the source of far greater emotional, relational, and financial cost.

How Mediation Helps

Mediation provides families with:

• A structured, neutral environment
• A process that ensures everyone is heard
• Clarification of misunderstandings
• Space to address sensitive topics without escalating conflict
• A shared plan for moving forward

Families often express relief after finally voicing long-avoided concerns. Many describe mediation as the turning point that allowed them to begin healing fractured communication and regain trust. Early conversations—facilitated with compassion and clarity—can prevent years of resentment, uncertainty, or legal challenges.

Why Attorneys Recommend Mediation Early

Attorneys frequently see the downstream effects of unresolved family issues: rising legal fees, lengthy delays, and outcomes that leave no one truly satisfied. Suggesting mediation early in the process:

• Helps families find solutions before litigation becomes necessary
• Preserves relationships that matter more than “winning”
• Reduces financial strain
• Leads to outcomes families are more likely to uphold

Mediation is not only efficient—it is protective. It safeguards relationships at a time when clarity and cooperation matter most.

Facing Challenges Together

Every family encounters difficult moments. While silence may feel easier, the long-term costs of avoidance are real. Mediation offers a path toward understanding, unity, and durable solutions during transitions that impact everyone involved.

Whether you are navigating caregiving decisions, planning for the future, or helping clients who feel overwhelmed, a facilitated conversation can provide the clarity and peace families deserve.